If Star Wars Was Real...
Searching through thousands of photographs and documents for evidence that Star Wars is real can be quite tedious. The ISWWR Team often shout out one-liners to each other while working to keep things upbeat:
ISWWR... Bob Marley's biggest hit would be called "Gungan Soldier." -Mark Seely
ISWWR... NASPOD would replace NASCAR -Mark Seely
ISWWR.. bookstores would carry Star Wars books in the history, biography, and true crime sections. -Mark Seely
ISWWR... potholes wouldn't be a problem. -Mark Seely
ISWWR... a new comedy series on TV would be called "How I Met My Sister." -Mark Seely
ISWWR... Honda, Isuzu, and Toyota would be Neimodian companies. -Mark Seely
ISWWR... Windows Vista wouldn't be any better. -Mark Seely
ISWWR... the 1928 presidential slogan of Herbert Hoover would have been: "a barve in every pot, a landspeeder in every garage." -Mark Seely
ISWWR... iPhones would project tiny holograms of the people we talk to. -Mark Seely
ISWWR... "Unfortunate lightsaber incident" would be a legitimate qualifier for disability insurance. - Bryan Patrick Stoyle
ISWWR... Ewoks would be available at most major pet stores. - Bryan Patrick Stoyle
ISWWR... Mustafar would have been covered with signs reading: "WARNING: LAVA" - Bryan Patrick Stoyle
ISWWR... NASA would be ancient history. - Miriam Tait-Walters
ISWWR... people would dress up in t-shirts and jeans at conventions. - Miriam Tait-Walters
ISWWR... it would still be cool to be Mandalorian. - Miriam Tait-Walters
ISWWR... Everyone's shadow would cast light on their destiny. - Andrew Martin Hogsten
ISWWR... Palpatine would be locked up in a retirement home. - Andrew Martin Hogsten
ISWWR... The World Series would have a new meaning. - Andrew Martin Hogsten
ISWWR... Greedo's death would be featured on Unsolved Mysteries. - Andrew Martin Hogsten
ISWWR... We would have aced History Class! - Andrew Martin Hogsten
ISWWR... Hitler would have been killed by his apprentice. - Andrew Martin Hogsten
ISWWR... We'd still have a crush on Carrie Fisher. - Andrew Martin Hogsten
ISWWR... We'd still want to fight William Shatner. - Andrew Martin Hogsten
ISWWR... George Lucas would be broke. - Andrew Martin Hogsten
ISWWR... a protocol droid would be doing your job!
ISWWR... unfortunately, Princess Leia would have been your sister too.
ISWWR... you would be captain of the Millenium Flamingo instead of that other one.
ISWWR... Boba Fett would've disintegrated you already.
ISWWR... the Empire would be the LEAST of your worries.
ISWWR... Jabba would live in the midwest and wouldn't be considered obese!
ISWWR... Jabba would be the #1 Hip Hop / R&B artist in America!
ISWWR... you would have failed as a jedi.
ISWWR... it would be easy to become a Stormtrooper because you wouldn't need any blaster training! - Alex Domsky
ISWWR... the hottest show on MTV would be 'Pimp My Landspeeder'. - Alex Domksy
ISWWR... Star Trek still wouldn't be! - Alex Domsky
ISWWR... this site would not exist. - Alex Domsky
ISWWR... Donald Trump's new apprentice would be chosen in a room in front of an oversized, round window looking out into space.
ISWWR... The Empire would find you and laugh.
ISWWR... There wouldn't be much 'celebrating' at SW conventions.
ISWWR... The Empire would have fired the Elvis Stormtrooper!
ISWWR... Darth Vader would owe a LOT of back-pay child support!
ISWWR... Jabba the Hutt's stuffed crust would not be what you think it is!
ISWWR... there would be billboards with the slogan, "Got Bacta?".
ISWWR... those lightsaber scars on your hands would be easier to exlpain.
ISWWR... Maury Povitch would announce that Darth Vader is YOUR father!
ISWWR... wait, what do you mean "if"?
ISWWR... You would think twice before accepting a dinner invitation from Lando Calrissian!
ISWWR... Bib Fortuna would be the "chicken of the sea".
ISWWR... Admiral Ackbar would stay far away from Red Lobster.
ISWWR... Han Solo's piracy would have been for those 14,520 illegal Napster downloads.
ISWWR... The Imperial March would be played at all major sporting events. - Andrew Marzka
ISWWR... Clones would be the employees at Wal-Mart. - Andrew Marzka
ISWWR... My other vehicle WOULD be the Millenium Falcon! - Andrew Marzka
ISWWR... Every kid would be targeting womp rats in their T-16s. - Andrew Marzka
ISWWR... The Top Gun Academy would be renamed: Top TIE. - Andrew Marzka
ISWWR... You would hear: "Who drank the blue milk from the carton?" - Andrew Marzka
ISWWR... Jawas would run every used car lot. - Andrew Marzka
ISWWR... Sand People would be sent to anger management class (in single file). - Andrew Marzka
ISWWR... T-shirts would read "Where in the galaxy is Tatooine?" - Andrew Marzka
ISWWR... On the next Jerry Springer show: "Meet The Skywalker's!" - Brent Dunston
ISWWR... The Detroit Lions would need their own Clone Wars to have someone to beat.
ISWWR... The TV reality show “Survivor” would be decided in the heat of a volcanic planet.
ISWWR... The first World War would have lasted 123 minutes.
ISWWR... The Cold War would have included Taun-tauns.
ISWWR... All we’d have is six episodes of a boring documentary.
ISWWR... High school would still have been painful... but for different reasons.
ISWWR... Mom would be living in MY basement.
ISWWR... George Lucas would buy my toys.
ISWWR... Your microwave would constantly remind you it is well versed in over six million forms of communication!
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